Your kidding right?
by Butterkup
Summary: It's been a pretty good life since the Enforcers joined the good side, steady jobs, and great a living place. But now they are on a mission to retrieve a artifact from a clever thief, using the artifact to steal the worlds grand jewels. Uh-oh Cross dressing Chow. Chow and Finn, with hints of Jackie and Viper. Enjoy, and if you don't like. I don't Care! Please read if you like haha!
1. Chapter 1

**You're kidding right?**

"HELL NO!"

Finn almost laughed at the expression on Chow's face, drawn into a deep frown, hands balled into tight fists at his sides, normally pale face a shade darker with pink. He stopped himself at the stern expression on Black's face –similar to his usual one except with an edge to it; .

"Chow your the only person we have at the moment that could pull it off" Black said voice comfortingly firm on the issue.

At the moment Agent Black, Finn, Jackie, Ratso and Viper all crowded his office. It had been almost a year since the Enforcers had gone over to the good side and so far the new relationship they had with section 13 was going pretty well, they even got along with Chan, as hard as that is to believe. Well until now.

A rather angry looking Chow stood in front of Black's desk. The shortest of the Enforcers bit his lip, and grit his teeth, his hand matting down his hair in an unconscious gesture.

"I don't care I'm not doing it!"

Black stood staring into the sunglass clad eyes. "I'm sorry Chow but you don't have a choice" Well, it was true. When it came right down to it, Chow was a lot smaller than most of the men in section 13. He'd have an easier time passing for a woman.

But that didn't mean the Enforcer had to like it, because he didn't.

"Aren't there any other agents that could do the job?"

"If there were," Black said calmly, "I would have asked them, but all our other female agents are on other assignments and there aren't any other men that could pull this off."

Chow bit down on his lip harder almost to the point it bled, scowling he turned his eyes flickered towards Finn, seeking for someone to help him make the decision, or at least he think they did, but Finn kept his expression steadily neutral. He reclined in the chair, crossing his arms.

After almost five minutes, Chow let out a long sigh. "Fine. But do I really have to wear a dress?"

Finn was unable to stifle his laugh at the question. Chow sent him a glare, telling him that if Finn didn't shut up he would be sorry.

Black opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off rather quickly by Viper. "Sorry Chow hun, but with your body type and shape, a dress would make you more believable as a woman."

"Fuck."

Black nodded. "You have to believe me when I say that if I thought anybody, simply anyone, could pull off this task you would be off the duty immediately." Chow just continued to clench his fist a rather unhappy look on his face. "Chow, we have to be in position by 2000 hours, so you should start getting ready now."

Chow glanced towards his watch. "But there's five more hours-"

"Only five?" Viper stood up, pulling Chow with by his arm. "I'll get Jade to help, he'll be ready by then. We'll meet you back here in four and a half hours." Chow looked like he was about to protest about being manhandled, but Viper had already pulled him out of the room before he could say a word –before any of them could say anything.

Finn looked at the now empty doorway.

"How long do you think he'll last?" he asked after a moment.

"I think Chow'll handle himself just fine," Black said, confident in his new employe's abilities. Finn let out a laugh at that.

Even Jackie gave the faintest of smiles.

The image of Chow looking like an awkward doll while the two woman worked on him, pulling and yanking at hair until it was done into updoos of all different kinds, or with his bony frame sticking out of one of those flimsy dresses that Viper wore when she wasn't at work, god that would be funny. Even funnier where the images of Chow as he tried to walk in a pair heels. The combination of the three images in his head made him laugh out loud for a few moments, while the other two stared at him curiously.

"Care to share?" Black asked.

"Chow- the hair, clothes, shoes," he managed to get out between laughs. Jackie laughed with him, since the idea of Chow as a girl would amuse anyone –even Black, who covered his mouth to hide his laugh, turning it smoothly into a cough. It would be just like Black not to laugh at the jokes that everyone was bound to crack out of some misguided loyalty to the members of the team.

If it weren't so humorous, it would be commendable.

Black had a light in his eyes that warned Finn, though. "You do realize that you will all have to dress up though, right?"

Finn frowned. "Sorry boss man but this." He gestured to his white suit."Is the only suit I own."

"Don't worry you'll be loaned some." Black did smile this time. "This party is suppose to be very extravagant. Everyone has to be escorted for the dinner, so Jackie will be taking Viper, Ratso you'll be one of the waiters. Which leaves you to bring Chow."

Finn frowned. "I'll be bringing Chow?"

"Yes, will that be a problem?" His tone meant that, either way, there shouldn't be a problem. And if there was, they were to sort it out between themselves without ruining the investigation. Finn shook his head, there wasn't a problem. He and Chow were friends, they would be able to pretend to have a date for one night. Right?

...

After their little meeting, Finn moved towards one of the conference rooms, making sure to grin at the pretty receptionist who had stared at him yesterday. Even though he had a policy of not dating women with guns, he didn't think the department gave their receptionist one. Even if she did have a body that men would kill for.

He entered the conference room without knocking, seating himself comfortably in one of the empty chairs. Ratso and Jackie were already there, holding covered suits tenderly. "Those our suits?" he asked, tilting his head towards the clothes they held.

Jackie nodded. "I think they had them adjusted for us," he commented, studying his closer. He picked up the one next to his, and then handed it to Finn. "This one is yours,"

Finn took his casually.

Ratso laughed. "Ya know, It's almost unfair that we have everything given to us while Chow has to go dress shopping."

"Wait," Finn grinned, "Chow's going dress shopping?"

Jackie nodded. "Apparently none of women are the same size as him, so they're going to have to buy or loan a dress from one of the shops."

"Where are they going to get the money to pay for it?" Finn seriously doubted that Chow had enough money lying around to spent on a expensive dress.

"The department will cover all costs," Black said walking into the room.

Poor department.

Black glanced at his watch, "I expect it would be best for you to return back to your apartments now to change." By apartments he meant the building they rented out above section 13 and converted into five rather large penthouse apartments.

It didn't take to long for Finn to arrive at his apartment on the third floor, a very spacious two bedroom apartment, facing the San Francisco Harbor. Though it was dark, a distant light indicated the position of the pier's fairground carnival.

Inside the apartment, the carpet was soft and cool blue, complimented with trendy furniture. The living space was wide open, with a beautiful, large dinning area beside it. the kitchen was off to the side, completely open and accessible from the sitting room. the only difference between the dining area and the kitchen being where the carpet stopped and black kitchen floor tiles began.

He glanced at the clock, good, just enough time to shave, shower and dress before they had to leave. He pulled off his shirt carelessly, throwing it onto the bed. He wasn't untidy –he would pick everything up late.

Toeing off his shoes near the doorway. His pants, underwear and socks rested in a rather overcrowded laundry basket at the corner of the room –steadily growing as time passed— and he walked naked into the bathroom. He started the shower, screech of rusty metal, and stepped in.

Twenty minutes later, he was out. He walked back into the room, towel tied lazily around his waist, and picked up the suit. He dressed quickly, since he was used to wearing suits, It did feel a little out of place without his white suit, but he'd manage.

He looked at himself in the mirror, carefully adjust his new tie, and smoothed back his hair a bit, he grinned at his reflection before walking out, where Ratso was already waiting with Jackie.

Jackie was in a similar suit like his only with a sapphire blue tie his hair combed just enough to look neat.

Ratso on the other hand, wore a pair of nice black pants with a white button up shirt and a bright red tie, the bandage still on his nose.

"Do you think Chow and Viper will be there by now?" Jackie asked stepping into the elevator.

"Uhhh, I think Black said that, they said, they'd be coming in a while after us."

Upon entering Section 13, Captain Black was already waiting for them.

"Well don't you boys look nice!" A voice said smoothly, and they turned to see Viper enter, dressed magnificently in a white gown.

Jade followed her, happily almost skipping into the room."Uncle Jackie, You should see Chow, He looks great, it was soooooo, much fun!" the almost sixteen year old said happily. (In the first season Jade is about 11 so after five seasons she would be around 16.)

Looking around Black stepped forward. "Where's Chow?"

Viper crossed her arms standing in between Jackie and Jade. "In his room, He refused to come out." a smile was evident on Viper's face.

"Well he needs to come out, you five need to get going in the next couple minutes."

"I'll get 'im" Moving to the door Finn was out before the others could even acknowledge what he had said.

Reaching the forth Floor, where Chow's apartment lay, he lightly knocked on the door. There was a little clatter, probably Chow shuffling around, before a voice sounded. "Who is it?"

"It's Finn. Now time to go Chow, everyone's waiting."

"I'm not coming out!"

"Come on, buddy. We gotta get moving." He jiggled the handle, finding it locked. Finn sighed, turning himself around, and leaning against the wall. "Open the door." He tried again.

"No!"

"Come on dude, it can't be that bad."

"Yes, it can." Chow growled behind the door. "Trust me!"

"Come on already! Just open the door and let me see, we gotta go." Still no answer. "Look, I promise not to laugh. Okay?" Though he wasn't sure how long he'd be able to keep that promise, the thought of Chow in a dress already brought a giggle to his mind. The hallway went silent for a second, right before the doorknob jiggled a little.

"You better not fucking laugh, or I swear I'll kick you ass." Finn just rolled his eyes. He pushed himself off of the wall, and straightening out his suit to look neater.

And then out of the room walked an absolute vision.

Finn stared as the women as she exited the room— Mouth hung open, he knew it looked absurd, and he forced himself to snap it from the bottom, his eyes traveled up where long legs, could be glimpsed through the large slit in the beautiful Sapphire colored dress, manicured clad toes stuck in stiletto heels. Then up to her hips, her chest –a little flat but he could live— and to her face. Finn took in the rosy, full lips, the blushing fair cheeks, the short black hair was styled in a messy pixie like way, the chocolate brown eyes under indecently long lashes and colored eyelids. Matching earrings and necklace seemed to finish the look. Wow, just Wow.

"Chow?"

...


	2. Chapter 2

"Chow?" he managed to get out. Finn couldn't help but swallow, trying to ignore the twitch of his body. He took in the dress again, the light material wrapping itself around his body like it was made for him, the sharpness of his hipbones giving the illusion of a shapely figure.

"Yeah?" Chow snapped, he rubbed his fingers across the bridge of his nose, giving excessive care as to not smear any of the make-up. The girls had taken almost an hour just to apply it, and he did not want them finding out he had already messed it up. How the hell could girls wear this all the time and not mess it up?

Finn could almost feel Chow's anger as he walked back into the apartment, and gabbed a small black purse. He tried not to grin at his friends torment, but he just couldn't help it.

Sighing Chow tugged at the fabric of the dress, pulling it down more, feeling rather uncomfortable. "God dammit, I hate this dress..."

Following Chow to the elevator, Finn's gaze swept across the length of his back –all pale skin and fragility. If anybody knew what this guy could do, or that he was a guy, Finn didn't think they'd believe it. "You know Chow, you make one pretty girl."

Chow turned around to glare at him, cheeks reddened and lips pursed. Now he looked like an angry girl.

Finn grinned un-apologetically "Really, you make as pretty a girl as you do a guy, we should have seen this before. You know, Chow, if you want to do this for your day to day wear, I don't think anyone's going to complain."

Finn then began to laugh, before he was punched, right in the gut. "...Uhhggg... Oww..." hunching over slightly, he cradled his stomach

"Drop dead..." Chow growled walking past him, tugging at the dress even more. Chow in male form was an amusing thing, a little scary at times but still amusing; in female form, he was somehow _far_ more intimidating. Finn didn't think it was normal for a male to look so comfortable as a female –or to look so good as a female either.

There was a ping and the doors slid open, Chow walked in ahead of Finn, unusually comfortable in the too high heels that someone had loaned him –Viper he guessed, Jade's feet where too small.

He turned around, hands on his hip and brows raised, as he stared at the still hunched over man. "Oh Suck it up, I didn't hit you that hard." Just enough to make sure that he'd be able to feel it for a while.

The two made it down to where the car was waiting for them, Viper, Jackie, Black and Ratso, already waiting down by the limo.

Viper smiled at the sight of the two friends making their way down to them. As the door opened, Black and Ratso slid in first followed by Jackie and Viper.

Finn went to step in next, but before his foot even made it inside, he stopped and took a step back. "I'm sorry, where are my manners?." He gave a mock bow, offering to let 'her' in first. "Laddies First" He held out a hand oh, so politely.

"Fuck off" He mumbled quietly, glaring down at the offered hand.

Climbing into the limo, Chow's heel caught against the sidewalk, wobbling a little, Finn was able to take a hold of his Chow's arm, and keep his friend from face-planting into the car.

Chow tensed up at the warm feeling of Finn's fingers against the cool skin of his arm.

"Problem?" Finn grinned smugly. Chow just wrenched his arm free of Finn's grasp, trying to ignore the warmth that crept inside his body.

"Just shut up and get in the damn car!" He mumbled, carefully sliding into the limo, making sure not to fall again.

...

"Now." Black Began as soon as the door had shut behind Finn. "Your host for the evening is Monsieur Clien Du'von, a wealthy french business man, with a keen eye for rare jewels. We believe that him to be the legendary, crook, The Lightning Thief (Yeah. Yeah I know. - _ -.), Seeing that he is able to get in and out of a place in the blink of an eye."

"Then how do you know it's Du'von?" Viper Asked.

"All of the pieces stolen have all been from museums that Du'von had visited just the same night. So it makes since that it would be Du'von, or at least someone close to Du'von" Black reasoned. He was right, of course, not that he would say so.

"Makes since."

"Yes. Now as I was saying before, The thief is able to get in and out of the museum without being seen, but only for short periods of time." Everyone nodded. "Chow," Black turned to look at the man –or was he supposed to be calling him a woman— "Your name is Mei-ling Suzette, the wealthy daughter of Haru Suzette, owner of the world famous Suzette shipping company. Finn, your name is Travis Riddler, you're a Irish businessman who is a great investor in Suzette shipping. Jackie, Viper you two are Veronica and Jason Morison, You own thirty beauty school across country, and your both very lucrative art collectors." Once again they nodded.

"Some time during the party I want all of you to split up and look around to see if you can find any secret passageways or as such. If so Find out where they lead, if you find anything send us a ring," he passed them the small devices that, if clicked, would alert the team, "And we'll be in the building. We'll have the place surrounded."

Black finished after that and the Limo was silent, Jackie and Viper quietly murmured about their covers and Black was instructing Ratso on how to properly be a good waiter.

Chow did not bother to speak. He crossed his arms and Finn watched the rise and fall of his chest, the length of his toned arms, the elegance of his fingers- Chow leaned back in his seat, and the slit slid up further, revealing a stretch of pale skin that Finn quickly averted his eyes from. He squirmed in his seat, trying to force down the hardening in his pants with pure will of thought.

"This is so weird," he murmured, and Chow gave a snort.

"I'm the one in the dress, you know," Chow said, nails digging into his hand.

"Yeah, really weird," Finn said.

Viper stopped her chatting, and looked like she was about to speak, but simply shared a look with Chow and left it at that. Finn wondered if they had already formed some sisterly bond in the hours Chow had posed as a girl. Chow rolled his eyes in answer, and Viper's brows rose. Finn frowned, looking between them, then gave up. It would be easier to try to decipher Jade's squeals and looks.

"What's it like in a dress?" Finn asked suddenly, since he was actually curious.

Chow stared at him blankly, and then slowly broke out into a frown. "You really want to know what a man feels like in a dress?"

"Well," Finn shrugged casually, "Yeah."

Chow raised a brow, "Why? Curious about trying it out yourself?"

Viper snorted. "I can't imagine Finn in a dress, I mean, it's like," she looked around, "Black in a dress."

Black winced outwardly. "Must you-" he didn't end the sentence, only shaking his head. Finn could understand it, having to imagine himself in a dress –and why was it that the only dress he could think of was the ballerina outfit his sister had worn at age three?— was not the nicest of thoughts.

"And you could imagine me in one?" Chow sounded insulted.

"I can see you in one," Viper pointed out, her eyes moving up and down Chow's form. She waggled her eyebrows, "You look hot, too."

Chow blushed slightly, eyes darting towards Finn at the sound of the exact words he had said. Coughing uncomfortably, "I think we're there." The limo had stopped, and there was the sound of footsteps.

"Finn, Chow, you two go in first, Jackie, Viper, you follow after. Meanwhile Ratso we need to get you to the servants entrance to get ready."

Chow nodded sharply, and Finn stepped out of the limo. He waited for Chow to step out behind him –a long pale leg followed by a thin body— and held out his arm. Chow took it gracefully, his pale arm even paler against the darkness of the cloth.

Chow straightened, just barely leaning closer to Finn, black hair brushing against Finn's collar. Giving a charming smile, the valet almost tripped over empty air just at the sight of him –her.

He walked through the doorway, keeping his expression still as he caught sight of the lush carpet and swinging chandeliers, the walls decorated by pieces of art he had only ever seen in books.

"Hello," a man stepped up to them, white, in his thirties, "I'm Clien Du'von, it- it's a pleasure to meet you." The man licked his lips, jarringly similar to a rat, and Finn's hand pulled Chow closer to him.

Finn moved a hand to Chow's back, remembering too late that it was bare.

He felt the heat rise against his skin and kept his hand still. Chow shivered though, at the touch against his skin.

"Travis Riddler, it's a pleasure," Finn held out his hand, shaking the other man's firmly. He felt like wiping his hand down on his shirt, but it wouldn't be proper etiquette or something, he guessed.

Du'von wasn't looking at him though, slimy bastard.

It took a lot for Chow not to punch the man right in the face. He had to act... Act like a true female. So, he forced himself to smile and speak as feminine as possibly. "It's nice to meet you,"

Finn tried not to show his surprise at how feminine Chow sounded, voice soft and pitched higher, with a trace of an accent that he couldn't place. She –he, if he ever called Chow a she, he would kill him.

"Enchanted," the man caught Chow's hand he bent down lips just barely brushing against the back side of his palm. Chow's nose wrinkled delicately, and he allowed the touch before snatching his hand back, laying it on Finn's arm instead.

Finn was surprised at how comfortable Chow was acting though, poised and elegant, smiling the entire time, even though Finn knew without a doubt that he wanted to punch Du'von right now. He was surprised at how well Chow fit against him, hand against arm, hip brushing his, head moving closer to his occasionally to give the pretense of an actual engagement. He was surprised when Du'von's gaze moved lower, and there was a sharp pinch in his gut, a turn that he didn't want to identify.

They moved on, meeting another couple, followed by another, and then another, before they sat down at a table, Chow rubbing slightly at the bottom of his now sore feet. They had already seen Jack and Viper talking to an elderly couple, a large red blush coating Jackie's face while Viper's held a unruly smirk.


End file.
